There is so much to say but I am still groggy and not feeling up to too much talk.  I have already noticed big changes in how I feel, some very good and some, well not so good, but worth it.

I know that when I recover things will be better for me and Ronnie. We will be able to do so much more.

This summer I lost a ton of weight, well just about. 90 pounds. Summer isn’t over either so maybe more on the way. I am having to slow down because of some health issues but that may also be resolved by September.

I have made some amazing friends.  I was weary of the whole bullshit burb game that so many of the women were playing. I can see why some of my other friends gave up long ago. You know who you are and damn why didn’t you warn me. LOL

So, my summer has been about making changes and going back to what I was comfortable with.  The people I was comfortable with, the lifestyles and the energy and the honesty and the love that I used to know.  I feel alive and I feel good again.

I am so sick and tired of trying to fit in and to think that I spent a decade getting into an exclusive club to find out that that it was really a snake pit makes me want to slap someone… But only a consenting adult mind you. NO HITTING CHILDREN!  People who hit children are mindless, worthless drones who think that because they are older, or can push a baby out their vagina, or donate some sperm, creates some sort of ability to own another being and treat it however they like.

Nope. I am not what you picture as the suburban wife.  I don’t have a picket fence, I have a privacy fence.  I don’t drink wine out of a Ziploc bag at a play date, I drink a beer at Legends with my friends. I don’t drive an SUV, I drive a mama van that can convert into the fun mobile. I don’t take my kids through any drive through, we call those places disgusting filthy names as we drive by. I don’t keep up with the Jones, maybe invite them over for a cocktail and a naked midnight swim when the kids are asleep. Okay so the naked at night part is a stretch. I swim naked during the day.

Anyway. I tried it societies way. It didn’t work. They lied. It is not greener and it is not better. So much  backstabbing and lying within the suburban lifestyle and yet judging those who are openly Polyamorous or Pansexual, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, GF… whatever label they can find to stick on someone.

I can breathe! Don’t try to smother me or drag me into it again.

The children know and feel it, and parents many times become resentful because now they have placed their child in that place of responsibility and given themselves the “excuse” to blame them.

If you stay with your spouse, you stay with them for you. Not for anyone else, especially a child. They don’t need that burden.